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What Job Descriptions Say vs. What They Mean

These days when job-hunting, especially if you're a seasoned pro like I am, reading through job descriptions (JD) can be stressful and discouraging. I don't know about you, but I often come across job descriptions that sounds something like this:
 
"Looking for a rockstar user / consumer researcher, who has used every single qual / quant methodology out there, and communicates so well they could give a Ted-talk, to join our team. They must be a self-starter that's excited to join an exciting, fast-paced environment. Perks include free snacks and monthly team outings. 2+ years experience preferred."
 
OK, the rockstar line may be a bit much, but reading through the lines of many job descriptions, I know that's the type of person many organisations are looking for. And I say good luck!
 
Honestly, reading through these rockstar-esque JDs make me feel uneasy.
 
While I know I'm more that qualified, I ask who on earth out there has every skill outlined for these fantasy jobs?
 
And when it comes to the years of experience they specify, we all know +2 years plus means we can pay you crap, and 5+ years means we'll may you slighly more, as we know you'll be so grateful just to work for us.
 
And what about the benefits? Free snack, team outings and use of the gym are great, but what about tangible benefits such as health insurance and flexible working?
 
To highlight the JDs "translations" we have to make when looking for new opportunities, I'll share with you a visual by GetVoIP on what job descriptions really mean.
What Job Descriptions Actually Mean
 
I know I can't be alone, frustrated by 'fantasy' job descriptions. So if you feel the same, come and rant by sharing your experience below.

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